The day after

Stoned around in the morning, didn't know what to do when I don't have anything to keep myself occupied. Glad that it was finally time to meet my aunt. Went to see little beanie through the ultrasound. She's cute (: Nice to have something to cheer me up. I'm going to have a cute niece soon, and I love her already.

Went shopping. Bought a dress and a top from Miss Selfridge, a top, shorts and accessories from Topshop. Retail therapy. Helped a little. Mum was so nice to me today. Yay. Went on to Singapore Flyer after that. It was a pleasant surprise planned by my mum. My family members were all there when we reached, even my dear old great-grandmother. 17 of us took up one entire capsule to ourselves, and we had a great time. Love my family. Spastic photos. Went on to eat dinner and cut my yummy durian cake. Great to see so many of them turning up to celebrate my birthday for me, though it was my Chinese birthday and I didnt even know it. Really apprecitate all of them, especially my parents who painstakingly organised it for me. (: Once again, I love my family.

But it still hurts. The feeling just goes away temporarily, but the pain is still there, waiting for its chance to jump out at me to hurt me. I'm not exaggerating. Every small detail reminds me of floorball, and it hurts, as if my chest is constricting, refusing to let me breathe. I know I should let it go. Though it hurts, but I can't bear to let go. It's just too difficult.

Wei, Jia Xin, Wu Yue and Therese: I love our line, and I know we work well together. We just didn't perform well this season. Wei & JiaXin: We've played with each other for 2 seasons, and we've come to know each other better. The way each of us play, think, what each of us want. It really sucks not being able to play with each other again. But at least we know we'll be there for each other.

I have no idea how I'm going to overcome this. Dreading school. No mood for lessons. The pain is overwhelming when I'm alone. How am I going to get on with life without trainings, without seeing my teammates often. I've grown so used to life with floorball, I feel empty without it. I know we still can train, but it's different. All good things come to an end, I agree. But it shouldnt have ended the way it ended.